Don't kills me for this one

Heard anything funny today about our pollies (their always good for a laugh). Get in touch with that inner Irishman and let’s hear a joke or two.

Don't kills me for this one

Postby amanda » Mon Mar 02, 2009 10:32 am

So, here's the story. . .

Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary and then arranging to have her killed.

A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie'. Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar coin that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Woolworths store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well. However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared ....

(You're going to hate me for this ... )










'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 AT WOOLWORTHS!'
It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt - then it's bloody hilarious!
User avatar
amanda
Mr(or Mrs) Dribble
 
Posts: 1376
Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 4:14 pm
Location: Gold Coast

Re: Don't kills me for this one

Postby Poodle Jewel » Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:08 pm

That`s sick Amanda. :***
The Lord is my shepard,i shall not want......only sometimes.
Poodle Jewel
Mr(or Mrs) Dribble
 
Posts: 1603
Joined: Wed Jan 02, 2008 8:13 pm
Location: Gold Coast

Re: Don't kills me for this one

Postby amanda » Mon Mar 02, 2009 2:22 pm

Yeah, I know - that one was pretty bad.
It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt - then it's bloody hilarious!
User avatar
amanda
Mr(or Mrs) Dribble
 
Posts: 1376
Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 4:14 pm
Location: Gold Coast

Re: Don't kills me for this one

Postby talkingtree » Mon Mar 02, 2009 4:30 pm

hahaha nice one
talkingtree
Camping King
 
Posts: 35
Joined: Mon Nov 17, 2008 3:02 pm


Return to Friday’s Funny

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests