Drunk!

Heard anything funny today about our pollies (their always good for a laugh). Get in touch with that inner Irishman and let’s hear a joke or two.

Drunk!

Postby markcrook » Fri Jul 10, 2009 4:53 pm

Signs That You Are Too Drunk :beer
Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...
Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.
That damned pink elephant followed me home again.
I'm as jober as a sudge.

More Signs That You Are Too Drunk :beer :beer
You can focus better with one eye closed.
The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
You fall off the floor...
Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger...who needs dinner?

Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk... :beer :beer :beer
a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk... :beer :beer :beer :beer
a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transubstantiate

Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk... :beer :beer :beer :beer :beer
a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
b) Nope, no more booze for me.
c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
d) No kebab for me, thank you.
e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
f) I'm not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no co-ordination. I'd hate to look like a fool.
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning
Knock me down I get right back up again,
Come back stronger than a powered-up Pac Man
markcrook
Blatant Padder
 
Posts: 309
Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2009 2:30 pm
Location: Rockingham, WA

Return to Friday’s Funny

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests