Why it's good to be a woman

Heard anything funny today about our pollies (their always good for a laugh). Get in touch with that inner Irishman and let’s hear a joke or two.

Why it's good to be a woman

Postby amanda » Fri Sep 04, 2009 11:30 am

1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3. Taxis stop for us.
4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
13. We will never regret piercing our ears.
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.
It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt - then it's bloody hilarious!
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Re: Why it's good to be a woman

Postby markcrook » Fri Sep 04, 2009 2:09 pm

Couldn't leave this un-answered -

Why It's Good to be a Man!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your last name stays put.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics sometimes tell you the truth.

You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

Wrinkles add character.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"

One mood...Horny... ALL the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You can leave the hotel bed unmade...without guilt.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking: "He must be mad at me."

Your friend doesn't have to go with you to the resturant bathroom. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

Men V Women
NICKNAMES:
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.


EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller,

and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.


BATHROOMS:
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, comb, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS:
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
Knock me down I get right back up again,
Come back stronger than a powered-up Pac Man
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Re: Why it's good to be a woman

Postby amanda » Fri Sep 04, 2009 2:23 pm

markcrook wrote:The world is your urinal.

Oh, how very true!!!! :+
It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt - then it's bloody hilarious!
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Re: Why it's good to be a woman

Postby Little Kopit » Fri Sep 04, 2009 10:56 pm

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.


Somebody has never tried hiking in a new pair or boots or been on one of the long pilgrim walks, or watched videos of any of this.

So, the male in question is only a city guy.

;)
& I, I took the road less travelled by


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Re: Why it's good to be a woman

Postby GypsyLady » Fri Sep 04, 2009 11:52 pm

Little Kopit wrote:
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.


Somebody has never tried hiking in a new pair or boots or been on one of the long pilgrim walks, or watched videos of any of this.

So, the male in question is only a city guy.

;)



Good call LK.....
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