Aussie etiquette

Heard anything funny today about our pollies (their always good for a laugh). Get in touch with that inner Irishman and let’s hear a joke or two.

Aussie etiquette

Postby Kbel » Thu Jun 24, 2010 11:43 pm

In General:

1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview...
2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.
3. It's tacky to take an Esky to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take your ute
and trailer to the funeral.

Eating Out:

1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so
as not to bruise the wine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.

Entertaining at Home:

1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a
taxidermist..
2. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners.

Personal Hygiene:

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private,
using one's OWN ute keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.
3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.
4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste of finger
foods and if you are a woman it can draw attention away from your
jewellery.

Theatre/Cinema Etiquette:

1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie
ends.
2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have proven
they can't hear you.

Weddings:

1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummerbund and a
clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.
3. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion.

Driving Etiquette:

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun's loaded
and the roo's in your rifle sight.
2. When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest roo bar doesn't
always have the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4.. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's impolite to
ask her to bring back beer too.
If a man speaks in the middle of the forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
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Kbel
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Location: Brisbane

Re: Aussie etiquette

Postby xmasbaby67 » Fri Jun 25, 2010 11:19 am

:*** :***

Although I have a girlfriend whose husband needs to take heed of Rule 4 in Driving Etiquette!!!
as that is something he would definately do ::()

He is not liked by many????
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xmasbaby67
Mr(or Mrs) Dribble
 
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Location: Central West NSW


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