An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees Rosco sitting on his porch patting his dog.
He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to Rosco
"G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?"
Rosco: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."
Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"
Dog: "Yeah, doin' all right."
Rosco: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at Rosco)
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food
and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Rosco: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Rosco: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."
Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Rosco: (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing at Rosco)
Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and
keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
Rosco: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Rosco: (in a panic) " Don't believe a word he says, that sheep's a bloody liar.."
Why New Zealand has never been invaded.
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Marriage Equals a life Sentence