Paddy was on his way to Heaven

Heard anything funny today about our pollies (their always good for a laugh). Get in touch with that inner Irishman and let’s hear a joke or two.

Paddy was on his way to Heaven

Postby Rosco1 » Sat Jan 22, 2011 1:48 pm

Paddy was on his way to Heaven.

Upon his arrival, a concerned St Peter met Paddy at the Pearly Gates.

'I'm sorry Paddy' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an
overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an
Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly

'That's all right said Paddy. 'What does the Entrance Exam consist

'Just 3 Questions' said St Peter.

'Which are?' asked Paddy.

'The first' said St Peter, ' Is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?

The second is: How many seconds are there in a year?

The third is: What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?

Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and
when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for

So Paddy went away and gave those three questions some considerable
thought (I expect you are doing the same).

The following morning, St Peter called upon Paddy and asked if he
had considered the questions, to which Paddy replied, 'I have.'

'Well then, 'said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with
the letter T?'

Paddy said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'

St. Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that
indeed the answer can be applied to the question.

'Well then Paddy, could I have your answer to the second of the
three questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'

Paddy replied, '12!'

'Only 12?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure

'Easy' said Paddy, 'there's the second of January, the second of
February right through to the second of December, giving a total of
twelve seconds.'

St Peter looked at Paddy and said, 'I need some time to consider
your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away
shaking his head.

A short time later St Peter returned to Paddy. 'I'll allow the
answer to stand Paddy, but you need to get the third and final
question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven.

Now Paddy, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in
Waltzing Matilda?'

Paddy replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to

'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer, Paddy?'

'It's Andy.'


'Yes, Andy' said Paddy.

This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that,
deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense
any longer, and turning to Paddy, asked 'Paddy, how in God's name
did you arrive at THAT answer?'

'Easy' said Paddy 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his
Billy boiled.'

And Paddy entered Heaven...
Life is not about how hard you can hit, but how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.
Mr(or Mrs) Dribble
Posts: 1143
Joined: Wed Sep 08, 2010 8:52 pm
Location: Nth Brisbane

Re: Paddy was on his way to Heaven

Postby Titch2 » Sat Jan 22, 2011 2:19 pm

:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
Grandpa Talks Alot eh?
Posts: 469
Joined: Thu Dec 02, 2010 7:32 pm
Location: South East Melbourne

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