Joke of the Week

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Joke of the Week

Postby amanda » Wed Oct 18, 2006 12:40 pm

Anyone interested in a Joke of the Week Competition? If so, add your best joke to this thread, and at the end of the week we'll announce the winner. Feel free to add more than one joke. I'll kick it goes....

Three couples, one elderly, one middle aged and one newlyweds wanted to join a church. The pastor said “We have special requirements for new parishioners – you must abstain from sex for two weeks.”

The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor asked the elderly couple “Were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?”

The old man replied “No problem at all.”

“Congratulations, welcome to the church.” The pastor asked the middle aged couple the same question.

“The first week was OK, but the second week I had to spend a couple of nights on the couch, but yes we managed it.”

“Congratulations and welcome to the church.”

The pastor turns to the newlyweds “Were you able to abstain?”

“No pastor, we weren’t, it was my fault. I was watching my wife reach up to the top shelf to retrieve a tin of paint. She dropped th tin, bent over to pick it up, and I couldn’t contain myself any longer, I just had to have here there and then.”

“You understand of course, this means you will not be welcome in the church.”

“I know, we’re not too welcome at Bunnings anymore either!”
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Postby Barby-Q » Fri Oct 20, 2006 6:45 am

:+ very good
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Postby Ozzycamperboy » Mon Oct 23, 2006 10:18 pm

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the
husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sits
alone at a nearby table.

The wife asks, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," sighs the husband, "She's my ex-girlfriend. I understand she took
to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"

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