Little Johnny

Heard anything funny today about our pollies (their always good for a laugh). Get in touch with that inner Irishman and let’s hear a joke or two.

Little Johnny

Postby amanda » Tue Feb 03, 2009 12:03 pm

Little Johnny's at it again..... A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'


* * * * * * * * * * *


Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mummy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?'


* * * * * * * * * * *


The maths teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said,
'Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' Little Johnny quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'


* * * * * * * * * * *


Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him. Little Johnny asked, 'Why didn't you just keep him when you took his picture ?'


* * * * * * * * * * *


Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses,I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the postie wants to buy Mum .'
It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt - then it's bloody hilarious!
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Re: Little Johnny

Postby GypsyLady » Wed Feb 04, 2009 2:17 pm

That one must be doing the rounds...I have received it 7 times from 7 different people....sometimes you just have to wonder:-))))
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Re: Little Johnny

Postby markannab » Wed Feb 04, 2009 7:07 pm

The Good Grandpa:



A woman is in a grocery store and happens upon a grandpa and his poorly behaving 3 year-old grandson at every turn. It's obvious Gramps has his hands full with the kid screaming for candy in the candy aisle, cookies in the cookie aisle; same for fruit, cereal and soda. Meanwhile, Gramps is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy Albert, we won't be long, easy boy."

Another outburst, and she hears Gramps calmly say, "It's okay, Albert, just a couple more minutes and we'll be outta here, hang in there."

At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart, and Gramps again in a controlled voice is saying, "Albert, Albert, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes. Stay cool, Albert."

Very impressed, the woman goes outside where Gramps is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. "You know, sir, it's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. Albert is very lucky to have you
for his grandpa."

"Thanks lady", said Gramps, "But I'm Albert, the little brat’s name is Johnny."
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Re: Little Johnny

Postby Poodle Jewel » Wed Feb 04, 2009 7:51 pm

:+ Good One
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Re: Little Johnny

Postby AussieSunset » Thu Feb 05, 2009 1:57 pm

Now those put a smile on my dial. both very good :*** :*** :***
Life is what happens when you've made other plans. :)
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