Irish Extreme Sports and How to wash a cat

Heard anything funny today about our pollies (their always good for a laugh). Get in touch with that inner Irishman and let’s hear a joke or two.

Irish Extreme Sports and How to wash a cat

Postby markcrook » Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:02 pm

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle. They head to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem."

The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.

"Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere," says Gerry,

The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag. Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's Hiace to drive to the top of the Conor Pass.

At the Conor Pass, Gerry looks down at the 1000-foot drop and says, "Dis looks like a grand place."

He takes two birds out of the bag, puts them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff.

Paddy watches as Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.

Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says; "Feck dat. Dis budgie jumping is too feckin' dangerous for me."

PART TWO:

Moment's later Seamus arrives up at Conor Pass. He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag in one hand and a shotgun in the other.

Hi, Paddy. Watch dis, "Seamus says. He takes a parrot from the bag and throws himself over the edge of the cliff.

Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot. Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.

Paddy shakes his head and says, "And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either."

PART THREE:

Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean Og appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a paper bag out of which he pulls a chicken.

Sean Og then hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.

Once more Paddy shakes his head - "Feck that Lads. First der was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting and now Sean Og is feckin' hengliding."
Last edited by markcrook on Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Knock me down I get right back up again,
Come back stronger than a powered-up Pac Man
markcrook
Blatant Padder
 
Posts: 309
Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2009 2:30 pm
Location: Rockingham, WA

Re: Irish Extreme Sports and how to wash a cat

Postby markcrook » Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:53 pm

Couldn't resist posting this one...

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.

Sincerely,
The DOG
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Last edited by markcrook on Fri Sep 04, 2009 10:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
Knock me down I get right back up again,
Come back stronger than a powered-up Pac Man
markcrook
Blatant Padder
 
Posts: 309
Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2009 2:30 pm
Location: Rockingham, WA

Re: Irish Extreme Sports and How to wash a cat

Postby GypsyLady » Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:20 pm

Pic is a bit big for the forum.....Might like to resize it.
Image
The worst day camping still beats the best day working
GypsyLady
Difficult Customer
 
Posts: 8589
Joined: Wed Dec 13, 2006 9:50 am
Location: SEQld

Re: Irish Extreme Sports and How to wash a cat

Postby markcrook » Fri Sep 04, 2009 10:26 am

gypsylady wrote:Pic is a bit big for the forum.....Might like to resize it.


Oops I'm now used to big monitors so didn't shrink it as much as I normaly would - job done!
Knock me down I get right back up again,
Come back stronger than a powered-up Pac Man
markcrook
Blatant Padder
 
Posts: 309
Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2009 2:30 pm
Location: Rockingham, WA

Re: Irish Extreme Sports and How to wash a cat

Postby GypsyLady » Fri Sep 04, 2009 2:33 pm

Thanks Mark....I can see it now and yes I can also see the resemblance
Image
The worst day camping still beats the best day working
GypsyLady
Difficult Customer
 
Posts: 8589
Joined: Wed Dec 13, 2006 9:50 am
Location: SEQld


Return to Friday’s Funny

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 9 guests

cron