Rosco's first letter to Santa

Heard anything funny today about our pollies (their always good for a laugh). Get in touch with that inner Irishman and let’s hear a joke or two.

Rosco's first letter to Santa

Postby Titch2 » Fri Dec 24, 2010 1:18 pm

My name is Rosco and I am nine years old. I live in the deep heart of the North Carolina Mountains. My mom and Uncle Tim have schooled me since I was four years old. I have the greatest room in our cabin that anyone
could ever ask for. I have a desk that is made of an old white oak stump, just perfect for my height. I sit on a chair my granny whittled when she was only two years old. And I get to write with a stick and some eagle poop. Isn't that the greatest way to write?
My sister knitted me some socks the other day and my half-brother stitched my flip-flops into some pretty cool looking leather shoes with the help of a black panther my daddy killed last summer. My Aunt Bill is an awesome cook. She picked up an opossum on her way home this morning. She said it was just hit so the meat would be at its freshest. The stew she makes from road kill is to die for. My other Aunt, Sonya is the smart one of our family. She married my cousin Larry. I couldn't believe that they waited until they were fifteen to have their first child. No one in my family has waited that long before having any kids. I am so proud of them. Grandpa Jones was only six when he first started running white liquor and thanks heavens he did. We are so rich now due to grandpa and his band of rascals'.
Oh and Santa I am sooo sorry for the things that happened this year. But it isn't really my fault that my little sister ran into that green snake that I left hanging from the weeping willow tree. And Johnny should have never stepped into the pit I made to catch those bears and I promise I didn't put those ants in Uncle Tim's pants. Nor did I mean to shoot an arrow at Tracy's arm. She just stood there in the way and wouldn't move.
Please note Santa that I am not asking for much and I promise I won't tease little Timmy anymore about his enormous ears; if you would just bring Lolita home from prison, one more time. Any who, I think it's silly to be arrested for "skinning a cat". I mean after all Momma used to do the same thing back when she was "walking the streets". She said it was for the exercise, but the way she dressed, whoa! I thought she might just be trying to get a man. Who knew!

Grandpa Talks Alot eh?
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